Tentaclesmex
by LumCheng
Summary: [Matt and Mello and a tentacle] Yeah, I know, I'm gross and insane. Don't like  don't read!


**Title**: Tentacle-smex  
**Part**: 1/2**  
Author**: LumCheng**  
Fandom**: Death Note  
**Pairing**: Tentacle x Mello (Matt/Mello)  
**Rating**: NC-17 (this chapter: PG-12)  
**Challenge**: #3 aliens/tentacle  
**Warnings**: yaoi, lemon, silly, crack, cursing, blah  
**Note**: Another piece of my german crack-challenge-thingy. I hope you like it.  
**Beta**: PirateLozzie (thank you -hugs-)

**xXxXxXxXxXx**

"Mello... I'm back"

Silence.

"Mello?"

Frowning, Matt unbuttoned his vest and tossed it over the backrest of the couch, before he took the purchases into the kitchen. Mello's shoes were still standing in the corridor and his coat was there too, which meant, that the blonde must still be here. Just as the younger boy wanted to shout again, he heard a loud splash from the bathroom.

Instantly his frown was lost and replaced by a knowing smirk. So, Mello bathed? How convenient, it was cool outside, a bath would be great right now. He addressed the bathroom door, when the splashing became louder and somehow... it didn't sound like Mello.

After that he heard muted cursing.

For a moment the redhead stood in front of the door and wondered if he really wanted to know what was going on there. Now it sounded more like a small battle in water and he heard Mello hissing angrily.

"You wretched... beast... Just wait till I...!"

With a jolt Matt finally opened the door and stepped in. Immediately Mello turned around appalled and obviously tried to somehow hide the bathtub behind him.

"Oh, Matt...", he said breathlessly, trying to sound easygoing. "Well... How's the shopping? Did you get everything?"

"What do you have there?", the other man asked, without responding to the small talk. Between him and Mello there was about two meters distance and he couldn't see what was in the water but it seemed like he saw a shadow in the half-full tub for a short moment.

The blonde sat on the edge of the tub and slowly swept the wet hair out of his face, while his eyes scurried nervously around the room.

"What do you mean? I just let in bathwater for myself..."

"Oh, yes?", came the leery reply.

"Sure. But say, don't you have to put the food in the fridge?"

Matt remained silent. Then he took one step forward and immediately Mello jumped up and reached out to restrain Matt.

"No... back off... I mean..."

But the younger one ignored his room mate and knocked his hands aside, while he walked another two steps to the bathtub and stretched his neck. The next moment he jumped back and clung to the washbasin behind him.

"Holy shit! What's this?"

With eyes wide open he saw how a green, longish thing with violet suckers softly touched the black leather of Mello's left leg, went further upwards - and came dangerously close to the blonde's crotch! Mello stood there helpless and looked at his friend, before looking down at his leg. He started picking that green critter away and let it slip back into the water

"This... erm... is a tentacle..."

"A ten... -a WHAT?!"

"A tentacle. A soft, sucker tipped---"

"Gosh darn it! I know what a tentacle is!", Matt bristled with anger and straightened up a bit, still gazing at the bathtub in disgust.

"Wanna take the piss out of me? Those things doesn't exist!"

Mello threw a glance behind himself.

"Well... I'd say... they do."

"That's crazy", he muttered and smeared over his mouth. The phone rang and disturbed all his thoughts about sea monsters and aliens. They looked at each other.

"How do you come across such a... thing?", the red-haired asked stunned.

"Matt..."

"What?"

"The telephone."

"And? We have problems to solve! Forget the god danm telephone!"

Mello sighed and grabbed a towel to wipe off his hands.

"Never mind, I'm going."

"STOP!", Matt called panicked. "No, **I**'ll go... Don't leave me alone with this alien!"

"It's a tentacle", the blonde corrected and watched Matt speeding off into the corridor.

The yonder took the telephone gruffly from it's fixture and stared at it for another 2 seconds before pressing the button and holding it at his ear.

"This is the animal shelter for runaway aliens, how may we help you?"

"..."

"... Hello?"

Slowly he understood who was at the end of the line. That pissed silence was very familiar to him, VERY familiar... Quickly he added, stuttering: "W-we're not here at the moment and... Uh... Maybe it would be nice... Y-you can... After the beep..."

"Matt..." Rod grumbled, sounding displeased. "Stop that shit and put Mello on the line! Dude, fuck it, you're unbearable!"

The younger one gulped nervously and said nothing while running back to the bathroom with the phone. He gave it to his friend, who made a questioning face, without saying a word.

"Yes?" Mello asked quietly. Next he looked angrily at Matt, who just made a gesture like he wanted to say 'It's not my fault!'. The blonde sat on the edge of the tub while on the phone and touched the green slippery skin of the tentacle vacantly, as it came out of the water again, engrossing the thigh of the young man.

That brute seemed to like Mello, and Matt's right eyebrow twitched dangerously as he observed the two. It was one thing if half the world wanted to fuck Mello, but it was something completely different if Mello was flirting with a tentacle... or rather... petting it gently and granting him a proper amount of love and attention.

"Okay, yeah, okay. Understood. See ya!"

Mello hung up and looked exhaustedly at Matt.

"Mike and Steven will pick it up immediately."

"It?" Matt asked astonished. "You mean... this? It belongs to your boss?"

Nodding, the blonde rose and pushed the tentacle back into the water.

"Yes. Well, not directly. I mean yes, but... I offered him to have it here until there's a new prospect, but this is going faster than I thought."

"When did he start to deal with aliens?"

"It's a-"

"Yes, yes, it doesn't matter. As long as this brute disappears as soon as possible..."

Mello went to the door and pulled Matt with him into the corridor, before closing the door behind them quickly.

"Why do you hate it that much?" He asked, sounding almost a bit hurt.

"Why I...-?" Matt stopped and looked at his friend, puzzled.

"It's... just not normal", he shouted. "I mean... There ARE no such things as tentacles, at least, not single ones... Well, yes, but only attached to squids... Mello, be honest, what exactly is that thing in there? Is it a new toy or what?"

Mello laughed humorlessly and let himself drop on the couch.

"No," he said, tired. "It's a real animal. They stole it from some experimental laboratory. I think it's actually... Well..."

"Oh, come on!", the younger one moaned. "Don't tell me you have a crush on that disgusting critter?!"

The other one merely shook his head a bit and ran a hand through his hair.

"Come on!", Matt dug deeper and gripped his friend's shoulder.

"What?!", Mello hissed angrily.

"I wanna know if you fell in love with this bloody thing! You wanna keep it, don't you?"

There was it again. That humorless laughter. Matt's grip tightened.

"Answer me, otherwise I'm going to go back in there and shoot it!"

"Don't be so heartless."

"Just answer me!!!"

"No, dude! I didn't fall in love with some pink suckers... What the hell do you think of me?!"

"They're violet..."

"Stop it!"

They looked at each other for a long time. Matt's hand was no longer on Mello's shoulder, but rather mysteriously on his thigh.

"You like this, don't you?"

"Maybe..."

_**-tbc-**_

_Uhh, are you keen on such things? -lol- I guess the next chapter will be very gross and kinda awkward. Anyway, stay tuned. See ya  
Lummy- _


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